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The Daily Bonnet

Family Reluctantly Sings Another Verse in German to Please Grandma

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Relatives at an Ens family gathering this past week reluctantly obliged their 90-year-old matriarch by singing a verse of ‘Holy God, We Praise Thy Name’ in German even though they had already sung […]

Unger Conviction

Church Worship Team Replaced With U2 Cover Band

July 5, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS More than twenty years after they first allowed drums in church, the East Wichita Bible Church (formerly known as East Wichita Mennonite) has decided to replace their regular worship team with a local U2 cover band. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hippies Mistake Steinbach’s Summer Festival for Woodstock

June 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than twenty-thousand dirty hippies descended on Steinbach this weekend for the annual Summer in the City Festival, apparently under the false impression that it was “like the new Woodstock or something.” “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight

June 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Canadian rock icon Tom Cochrane will attempt to defy the laws of nature in Steinbach tonight by getting a crowd of Mennonites to sing along to his songs during his Summer in the […]

Unger Conviction

Local Worship Band Accidentally Performs Hymn

June 4, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The audience at a Calgary megachurch was left in shock after the worship band performed  ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ during the Sunday morning worship set. “I’m not sure how this old thing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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