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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blows Entire Paycheque at Cabela’s

December 9, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local father and outdoor enthusiast Peter Neufeld, 41, is drawing criticism from family and friends after blowing his entire November paycheque on hunting and fishing stuff this past weekend. “I really wish he would […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden Man Successfully Stretches Penny Into Copper Wire

November 29, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Local man, Reginald F. Braun, 63, has been dubbed the ‘Mennonite King Midas’ after becoming the first person to stretch a penny into copper wire. “That old Mr. Braun is just amazing,” said one […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Store Offers Amazing 10% Off Black Friday Sale

November 25, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON In order to keep Southern Ontario Mennonites from zipping over the border for Black Friday deals, local Mennonite businesses have drastically reduced prices in order to compete. Rempel Electronics, for example, is offering unprecedented […]

Unger Suspicion

Kevin O’Leary Encourages Mennonites to ‘Work Harder, Make More Money, Be More Industrious’

November 12, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Businessman and television personality Kevin O’Leary has taken time out of his busy schedule of helping young entrepreneurs make a “shit ton of moolah” to give some advice to Mennonites across the country. “It’s […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Collect Hundreds of Empty Shoe Boxes to Send Overseas

October 23, 2016 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Generous Mennonites throughout the Reinfeld area will once again be collecting empty shoeboxes this year to send to needy children in time for the holidays. “Many people stuff the shoeboxes with clothes, books, and other […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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