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The Daily Bonnet

Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites

February 20, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Pays Tithe in Chickens

January 26, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Local farmer Peter Funk showed up to church this past Sunday with a pick-up truck of plucked and processed chickens ready to be thrown in the offering plate. “I was a little behind on […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Signs Pastor to Massive 30-Year $1.2 Million Contract

January 18, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Free agent pastor Dave Hiebert has just inked a 30-year contract extension with the West Morden Mennonite Church. The new record-setting contract is reportedly worth close to $1.2 million spread out over the […]

Unger & Thirst

Used Car Lot Offers Free Bucket of Schmaunt Fat with Every Test Drive

January 11, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Proving once again that Steinbach truly is “worth the trip,” Unger Motors of Steinbach is offering a free 5 gallon bucket of schmaunt fat to anyone who test drives a used vehicle this weekend. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

January 9, 2017 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB Area man Jeremy Thiessen used the equity on his chicken farm to buy over a million dollars of fuel at the local Co-op this past year, hoping for a really awesome dividend cheque in spring. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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