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miriam toews

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Critics Excited to Watch ‘Women Talking’ and Find All the “Errors”

January 7, 2023 Andrew

SCHAZENBACHDORF, MB Utterly obsessed with their own depiction in film and literature, a group of particularly persnickety Mennonite critics are flocking to the Schanzenbachdorf Theatre this week to look for the slightest of “errors” in […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

The Daily Bonnet

NHL Teams Clamour to Sign Any Toews They Can

July 2, 2022 Andrew

DENVER, CO After the Stanley Cup successes of Jonathan Toews and Devon Toews (no relation), NHL squads are now looking to sign any and every Toews they can get their hands on. “Get a Toews […]

The Daily Bonnet

Warhol’s ‘Miriam’ Shatters Record, Sells for $195 Million

May 11, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY A rare Andy Warhol pop art painting of Mennonite literary icon Miriam Toews shattered auction records this week after an anonymous bidder from Schanzenfeld scooped up the image for a whopping $195 million, […]

Unger Conviction

Meet the ‘Steinbach Reads’ 2022 Contenders: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

April 25, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s an annual tradition in Steinbach. Every year enthusiastic local readers defend a choice of book and the final book is required reading for the entire community. This year, the panel will be […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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