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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”

September 26, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Earl Driedger, 61, of St. Catharines has been downing cups of beef gravy for years, much to the chagrin of his wife Brenda. “Just because you can drink it, doesn’t mean you […]

Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

May 21, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger & Thirst

New Study: Farmer Sausage Contains Only “Trace Amounts” of Actual Farmers

March 10, 2021 Andrew

FURTWANGLER, MB A new farmer sausage study from the University of Tubular Meat in Plum Coulee, Manitoba suggests that the vast majority of farmer sausage is actually completely farmerless. “I’m not sure what they’re putting […]

Unger & Thirst

Mexican Mennonite Woman Invites Friends Over for the Wrong Kind of Disco

March 6, 2021 Andrew

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mrs. Epp invited her friends over after church this week for what she thought would be a socially-distanced grilling of meat on a giant wok made from an old plow disc, but […]

Unger & Thirst

Little Abe Confuses Smoke Shack for Outhouse

September 28, 2020 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Little Abe Wiebe, 7, of Warman really had to go after a vigorous game of horseshoes with the cousin on Saturday and, so, ran for the nearest outhouse he could find. “No, Abie, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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