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manitoba

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment

February 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba was shocked to discover it was no longer a part of Canada after angry folks on social media suggested Trudeau had removed the “first amendment.” “OMG! Trudeau just tossed the Manitoba Act […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before

November 27, 2021 Andrew

MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister to Manitobans: “You Can’t Fire Me; I Quit!”

August 10, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After sinking to a historic low in the approval ratings, Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister tossed over his desk this morning in a huff and could be heard yelling “you can’t fire me; I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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