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manitoba

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister to Manitobans: “You Can’t Fire Me; I Quit!”

August 10, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After sinking to a historic low in the approval ratings, Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister tossed over his desk this morning in a huff and could be heard yelling “you can’t fire me; I […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Hikes ‘Hunt Lake Trail’ All at Once

July 5, 2021 Andrew

WHITESHELL, MB More than a million Manitobans were at Hunt Lake Trail in the Whiteshell this weekend, which provided an additional obstacle for the otherwise challenging trail. “I thought I’d be climbing rocks, roots, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Relatives Rush to Manitoba Where There’s Air Conditioning

July 1, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The mass exodus seems to be reversing itself, as thousands of Mennos from the Fraser Valley are flocking back to Manitoba where homes come equipped with luxuries such as you know, like, air […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister Sends Out Emergency Alert Warning Manitobans that He is Still Premier

May 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, thousands of Manitobans were startled with an emergency alert on their phones warning them that Brian Pallister is still in charge of things around here. “Waut de schissjat is this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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