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The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba to be Renamed Mennotoba

August 27, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a 7-2 decision this past week, the Supreme Court of Manitoba has voted to change the name of the province to Mennotoba … in honour of the Friesens. “There are more Friesens […]

Daily Bonnet

Manitoba to Repatriate All Mennonites Who Moved to BC

May 14, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new law will require all Mennonites who moved to BC in the last few decades to sell their million-dollar homes and take up residence over near Rosenort somewheres. “For years, we’ve seen […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Amazing Race Canada’ Contestants Super Excited to Fly Over Manitoba Yet Again

August 31, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After visiting every small town in the Canadian Rockies this season, Amazing Race Canada participants opened their envelopes to discover they’d be flying right over Manitoba this week. “Oooh, where are we going […]

Unger Suspicion

Saskatchewan Man Insists His Province is “Not that Flat” and You’re Just Seeing the Boring Part from the Highway

July 21, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Local man Al Wiens, 61, wants to assure all his out-of-town guests this summer that Saskatchewan is nothing at all like it appears to be from the Trans-Canada Highway. “Squint a little and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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