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knackzoat

Unger Suspicion

Tucker Carlson Discovered Knacking Zoat in Jeans Shorts at the Pits

April 25, 2023 Andrew

GRUENHIMMELFELD, MB It seems that Fox News star Tucker Carlson has settled in very nicely to his new role as half-drunk guy in cutoff jeans shorts at the pits. Moments after being fired by the […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Co-op Named One of “World’s Greatest Places” by TIME Magazine

March 30, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB TIME magazine has just declared the Co-op in Winker as one of the top 100 “greatest places in the world.” “That’s just one more feather in our cap,” said Winkler mayor Henry Siemens. […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz

February 26, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites have been lined up outside the Altona Not-So-Famous Players Theatre this week to see Knackzoat Bear, a film loosely based on the true story of a Grizzly who consumed an entire bag […]

Unger & Thirst

Pigeon With Backpack Full of Knackzoat Caught at BC Prison

January 10, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford Correctional Services are investigating after a pigeon with a backpack full of delicious dill pickle-flavoured sunflower seeds with found at the Fraser Valley MB Prison this week. “It appears that someone on […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year

January 3, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year. “Things were getting out of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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