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jantsied

The Daily Bonnet

Health Officials Worried About New More Infectious Jantsied Strain

February 9, 2021 Andrew

DITSIED, MB Health officials have gathered today in Rosenort to discuss the newly discovered Jantsied variant. “I’ll be totally honest. It’s not here in Ditsied yet, but the way those Unraus go back and forth […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

The Daily Bonnet

Terrible Road Between Jantsied and Ditsied Allows Travellers to Experience the Life of a Pioneer

July 19, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Travellers along Highway 75 in southern Manitoba are being offered a marvelous new way to experience the life of a Mennonite pioneer. By simply driving from Steinbach to Altona via Morris, travellers are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Self-Isolates After Visit to Jantsied

March 17, 2020 Andrew

DITSIED, MB Mr. Harder of Ditsied is in self-imposed quarantine for the next two weeks after an “international” trip he took to the other side of the river. “I went all the way to Jantsied,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Passport Now Required to Visit Jantsied

January 28, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Authorities at the border crossing in Rosenort have just announced that starting next month Mennonites will be required to show a valid passport when entering Jantsied. The announcement was met with fierce opposition […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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