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jantsied

The Daily Bonnet

Passport Now Required to Visit Jantsied

January 28, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Authorities at the border crossing in Rosenort have just announced that starting next month Mennonites will be required to show a valid passport when entering Jantsied. The announcement was met with fierce opposition […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Sees Surge in ‘West Reserve Alienation’ After Election Results

October 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Residents of the former Mennonite West Reserve (or Jantsied as it’s more commonly known) have become increasingly disenchanted with the state of politics at the present day. This feeling of alienation is so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rosenort Couple Faces Existential Crisis: Are We Jantsied or Ditsied?

November 8, 2018 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB The Loewens of Rosenort have been facing considerable anxiety over the last few years trying to figure out whether they’re Jantsied or Ditsied. The conundrum has caused such stress that the Loewens have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Electoral College Declares the West Side ‘Jantsied’

December 19, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite overwhelming popular vote suggesting that the East Side was Jantsied, the Mennonite electoral colleges have decided that the West Side of the Red River is officially ‘Jantsied.’ “Some will say it’s not very […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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