Health Officials Worried About New More Infectious Jantsied Strain


Health officials have gathered today in Rosenort to discuss the newly discovered Jantsied variant.

“I’ll be totally honest. It’s not here in Ditsied yet, but the way those Unraus go back and forth like that, I’m sure it’ll be here in no time,” said Dr. Wolgemuth. “Gotta be especially careful around those crokinole boards.”

Not only is the Jantsied variant five times more contagious, but it doesn’t wash off with a sprinkling baptism like the Ditsied strain does.

“You’ve gotta do a full-on MB dunk to wash yourself clean of that Jantsied strain,” said Wolgemuth. “I think that’s why it’s so scary. A lot of folks in southern Manitoba just aren’t ready for the immersion tank.”

Mennonites are warned to keep on their own side of the Red River until the pandemic is over or at least until Rosenort makes up its mind whether they’re Jantsieders or Ditsieders.

(photo credit: Robert Linsdell/CC)

Niagara Mennonites Vote to Im-Peach Pastor Dave
Canadian Prime Minister Finally Offers Formal Apology for Nickelback