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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Seniors Confuse Lobby Cam for OnlyFans

December 13, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK It seems that Smiling Menno Manor in Saskatoon just got their very own OnlyFans channel. Contractors just installed a camera in the lobby, which really had residents excited about the possibilities. “Just this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online

August 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once known as the City of Horses, you’re now more likely to see a pickup truck or minivan on the streets of Steinbach, Manitoba. This has left city employees with not as much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”

September 28, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Jack Rempel of La Crete, Alberta has just launched a new “streeeming servass for Mannanites yet.” “Since it’s a Mannanite thing and we don’t use the Internets, we’ll be bringing records and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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