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The Daily Bonnet

Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online

August 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once known as the City of Horses, you’re now more likely to see a pickup truck or minivan on the streets of Steinbach, Manitoba. This has left city employees with not as much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”

September 28, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Jack Rempel of La Crete, Alberta has just launched a new “streeeming servass for Mannanites yet.” “Since it’s a Mannanite thing and we don’t use the Internets, we’ll be bringing records and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

Unger Suspicion

Babylon Bee Accidentally Mocks Rich White Cis Hetero Man

June 27, 2022 Andrew

JUPITER, FL After garnering a substantial following by mocking people who are different than them, the staff at fundamentalist Christian satire site Babylon Bee accidentally poked fun a rich white cisgender heterosexual male this week. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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