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holidays

The Daily Bonnet

‘Three King’s Day’ Cripples Winkler Economy

January 7, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local economist Peter Froese estimates that more than $40 million was drained from the Winkler economy yesterday due to the annual Three King’s Day shut-down. “No one knows what the heck this holiday is even […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Pastor Offers Mennonite Hangover Cures

January 1, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In his morning sermon, a local pastor at Steinbach’s EMBM church is providing his congregants with sage advice to overcome holiday hangovers. “I’m a practical man,” said Pastor Tim. “I’m giving the people […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Water Tower to be Filled With Champagne for New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once the most prominent structure on the Steinbach skyline, in recent years the water tower has been surpassed in prominence by the SCU building, the curling rink, and numerous ever-expanding churches. In an effort to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather Today to Solemnly Forget

November 11, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB During his annual Forgetfulness Day service, Reverend B. B. Broesky Jr. told congregants that there were many awful thing that happened in the past and it was best just to move on and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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