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The Daily Bonnet

Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore

August 27, 2018 Andrew

BLACK HILLS, SD Four new faces are set to be blasted into the rock at Mount Rushmore this fall. After a long consultation process, a committee has selected the names of Menno Simons, Conrad Grebel, Jakob […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Thousand Villages Celebrates Ten Thousand Years of Service

May 12, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA Founded by the Mennonite Central Committee in approximately 8,000 BC, this year Ten Thousand Villages stores are celebrating 10,000 years of selling fair trade products. “I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure we’re […]

Unger & Thirst

Ancient Zwieback Recipe Discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls

January 22, 2018 Andrew

HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom Discovers Hidden Stash of ‘Preservings’ Magazine Under Teen Son’s Mattress

December 7, 2017 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mrs. Mary Loewen of North Kildonan was just going about her daily chores when she discovered a half dozen copies of the ‘Preservings’ journal underneath her son Adam’s mattress. “Oba! Looks like […]

Unger Suspicion

Fossil Discovered in Southern Manitoba

November 12, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A rare fossil was discovered in the hands of a Steinbach real estate agent this past week. A team of experts analyzed the finding, saying it was something called a “Blackberry,” whatever that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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