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health

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Medicine Cabinet Filled with Brandy

October 24, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Area woman Ruth Penner, 71, felt a sniffle coming on his morning and decided she needed to check her medicine cabinet to see what she had in stock. “Ahh, I think this should […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s

July 23, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area man Cameron Hiebert has been trying to inject his way into good health for quite some time, but that hasn’t stopped him from devouring a nice plate of vereniki and formavorscht when […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Dentist Concerned About Plaque

July 6, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After taking a historic walking tour of Steinbach, Manitoba this weekend, local dentist D.K. Tahn expressed concerns about all the plaques he saw around town. “There was a Barkman plaque and a Reimer […]

Unger Games

Limited Edition Dutch Blitz Set to Come Prepackaged with First Aid Kit

January 30, 2023 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A new limited run of special Dutch Blitz sets will come prepackaged with bandages, sterile dressings, gauze, and antiseptic wipes. “It’s about time my Dutch Blitz cards came with a first aid kit,” […]

Unger Conviction

New Pill Makes Mennonite Church Service Tolerable

October 29, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC After decades of research, a brand new pill has been approved by the Mennonite Health Service that makes Sunday morning church services just barely tolerable. “I don’t use this term lightly, but it’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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