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health

Unger Suspicion

Jason Kenney Appointed Sunday School Coordinator at GraceLife Church

April 11, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has decided to set aside some time in his schedule to fill the vacant Sunday School coordinator job at the controversial GraceLife Church. “We’ve got to get to them […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites 67 and Older Now Eligible for Schmaunt Fat Injections

March 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB There was a scramble to get appointments at the Schmaunt Fat Injection Super Site in Winnipeg after the province lowered the age of eligibility to 67 this week. “Oba, finally, I can get […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Allowed to Reopen After Agreeing to Host Sunday Morning Floor Hockey Tournaments

January 13, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A church in Winnipeg will be reopening this Sunday after agreeing to host a floor hockey tournament and not do any praying or singing. “It was some tough negotiating, but the government agreed […]

Quizzes

“When Will I Get the Vaccine?” A Calculator for Mennonites

December 27, 2020 Andrew

Today we’re going to answer the question that every Mennonite’s been asking: “Oba, just when will I get the vaccine yet?” After answering just five questions, this handy calculator will help you figure out how […]

Unger & Thirst

Portland Brewery Offers Vaccine Tasting Flight

December 19, 2020 Andrew

PORTLAND, OR Portland’s hottest craft brewery Beard Oil Brewing Company is planning to offer customers an amazing new flight of vaccines early in the new year. “We’ve been working on this plan for a while […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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