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government

Unger Suspicion

Congress to Do Everything in its Power to Do Absolutely Nothing

May 26, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The United States Senate held an emergency meeting this afternoon to enact powerful new legislation to do absolutely nothing. “We met, we chatted, and in the end, we came together in a bipartisan […]

Unger Suspicion

US Supreme Court to be Expanded from 9 Members to 535 and Renamed ‘Congress’

May 8, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After nearly 250 of years of pretending there were three distinct branches of US government, the United States Supreme Court will be expanded by 526 members and will be renamed Congress. “Who are […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Blows Entire MPI Cheque on Canadian Flags

February 18, 2022 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Local man Art Fehr has been waiting with bated breath for his auto insurance rebate cheque from MPI. When it finally arrived this Thursday, he promptly blew the entire thing on Canadian flags […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces

January 20, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Earlier this week Winkler’s favourite grocery store Seea Goot Mart added vodka and rum to store shelves in an effort to convince locals to cover their faces like they’re supposed to. “I guess […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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