US Supreme Court to be Expanded from 9 Members to 535 and Renamed ‘Congress’


After nearly 250 of years of pretending there were three distinct branches of US government, the United States Supreme Court will be expanded by 526 members and will be renamed Congress.

“Who are we kidding?” said Justice Scolito. “The Supreme Court has never really been about interpreting the law, but instead we’ve been committed to partisan hackery from the very beginning.”

Supreme Court judges vote on party lines just as predictably as Members of Congress and, thus, the public felt it was getting a little redundant.

“We’ve already got 435 in the House and another 100 in the Senate,” said Mary Yoder of Goshen, Indiana. “What’s the point of 9 more political stooges?”

Publishers are scrambling to update civics text books with snazzy new charts showing the Two Branches of Government and Schoolhouse Rock has already come up with a slightly modified version of their classic “How a Bill Becomes a Law” cartoon.

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