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Unger the Influence

MP Candice Bergen Steps Down to Return to Glamorous Life in Hollywood

February 3, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB After fifteen years representing the good folks of Portage Lisgar in the House of Commons, MP Candice Bergen has stepped down to return to the set of hit 1990s sitcom Murphy Brown. “As […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Ensures Mennonites Bill C-21 Will Not Affect Their Right to Bare Arms

December 5, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Mennonites across Canada breathed a sigh of relief today, after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Bill C-21 is being carefully reviewed to ensure it will not impede on their right to show […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman’s Passport Expires Before It Even Arrives

November 24, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area woman Mavis Eby, 61, just received her passport in the mail this morning only to find that it was already expired. “You know, this is really frustrating,” said Eby. “I thought when […]

Unger Suspicion

Man with 27% of the Vote Claims He’s Mayor of Winnipeg

October 27, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For some strange reason, an area man who received just 27% of the vote last night is under the impression that he’s the new mayor of Winnipeg. “I’d like to thank the literally […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Implement New ‘ArriveVankla’ App

September 22, 2022 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Just as the federal government is set to scrap the glitchy ArriveCan app, the city of Winkler has decided to add a new “ArriveVankla” app for all visitors from Jantsied or Morden yet […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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