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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MLAs Concerned “Cabinet Shuffle” Might Be Some Kind of Dance

January 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There was great concern among the Mennonite members of caucus after Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announced a “cabinet shuffle” this afternoon. “We’re Mennonites. I’m not so sure we should be doing this,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Confesses to Voting Democrat

December 10, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local man and former church deacon Mr. Yoder was forced to go up in front of his congregation this week and apologize after it was discovered he had voted Democrat in two of […]

Unger Conviction

New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Include Section on Minor Inconveniences Facing the Modern North American Church

November 30, 2020 Andrew

COLUMBUS, OH For centuries Thielman J. van Bright’s 17th century tome Martyrs Mirror or The Bloody Theater has preserved the horrific stories of martyrdom faced by Christians of the past. Now these tales of martyrs being burned […]

Unger Games

“Isn’t there a hockey game on or something?”

November 3, 2020 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Local man Darryl Wiebe, 47, has been flipping channels all evening in search of something, anything, even the least bit entertaining to watch. “Ugh. It’s the same crap on every channel,” said Wiebe. […]

The Daily Bonnet

GCers Feeling Left Out of ‘Restart Mennonite Brethren’ Campaign

October 28, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonite Church Canada members across Manitoba are a little miffed at the provincial government for seemingly giving all their time and resources to restarting the Mennonite Brethrens. “If you ask me, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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