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gossip

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Caught Listening In On Party Line

July 22, 2017 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB There was a prolonged awkward moment at the church picnic on Sunday after Mrs. Wiebe spoke too liberally about the information she had uncovered while listening in on the party line that connected […]

The Daily Bonnet

City to Replace Surveillance Cameras with Mennonite Ladies

March 18, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA In an effort to increase security and reduce costs of surveillance, the city of Lancaster has voted to remove all security cameras and replace them with nosy Mennonite ladies. “Basically they’ll just do […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Resolves Not to Gossip in 2017

January 15, 2017 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Did you hear about Mrs. Maria Kroeker? I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but, oh, it looks like you really want to know by the way you’re leaning in and cupping […]

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Alt-Mennonite Leader is Fed Up With Being Told Not to Judge

December 3, 2016 Andrew

HOFFENBURG, PA A fringe Mennonite group promoting a “traditional pro-judgement pro-gossip” agenda has been gaining traction in the last few weeks due, in part, to an editorial in BreitBart and a series of memes with spelling mistakes in them. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rumours Fly as Young Woman Gets a Haircut

October 28, 2016 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB The rumour mill was running in full force this weekend after local woman Marilynne Klassen, 32, went to one of those weltlijch city hairdressers and came back with the “shortest haircut we’ve ever […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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