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genealogy

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Confuses Genealogy Website for Dating App

October 8, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Aghast at the prices of more famous ancestry websites, local woman Amy Penner decided to subscribe to Grandma’s Window, a much more affordable website dedicated exclusively to Russian Mennonite genealogy. The problem […]

The Daily Bonnet

Penner Discovered in Reimer Book

September 8, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Shock waves are spreading throughout the Mennonite community of Steinbach this week as a Penner was discovered in the Reimer book. It’s not known how the Penner got into the Reimer family tree, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes

July 21, 2018 Andrew

DRUMHELLER, AB Scientists at the Friesen Academy of Science, Platz, and Aniseed (FASPA) have uncovered conclusive evidence that proves the evolution of Mennonites from our ancestors the Abes. “Sometime millions of years ago in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Divorces After Discovering Common Ancestor

January 25, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After years of searching genealogy websites and poring through family history books, local man Peter Nikkel of Altona, has learned that he and his wife Anne are distantly related. Upon discovering the news, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam

January 28, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Elmer P. Dueck, 84, has spent the last forty years of his life meticulously researching his family tree, and has recently become the first Mennonite ever to trace his ancestry all […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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