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gardening

The Daily Bonnet

“Fearless” Invading Army Chased Out of Steinbach By a Gardening Implement

November 15, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It was a battle for the ages … or as close as it gets in a town full of pacifists, anyway. A “brave and mighty” army of “fearless” warriors from Winnipeg (and a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Has So Much Extra Rhubarb She Just Doesn’t Know What to Do with it All

July 1, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Even though it’s early in the season, Mrs. Doerksen has already more rhubarb than she can handle and just doesn’t know what to do with it all, since everyone else in town is […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”

June 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB An undercover stakeout of the Plett’s garden last night had led the arrest of Mrs. Dueck, 61, caught red-handed stealing all the ingredients necessary to make a delicious somma borscht. “Oba, why’d she […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Awarded Top Prize in Annual Southern Manitoba Flower Festival

May 30, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Competition has been fierce this spring, but Mrs. Epp of Steinbach has come out on top at the annual Southern Manitoba Flower Festival. “I heard there were about 1.3 million competitors this year,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Oma Wiebe Really Excited About Altona’s New Pot Shop

March 24, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Word about Altona’s new pot shop made waves throughout the community this week. Especially excited about the news was local gardener Mrs. Wiebe who had become increasingly dissatisfied with the local pot selection. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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