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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

Debit Machine Tip Options Strike Terror Into Mennonite Man

July 10, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Goertzen enjoyed his lovely meal of schnitzel at Ralph’s German Restaurant this afternoon, but was paralyzed with fear when the debit machine came to the table and he was presented with various […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here

June 23, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Despite soaring temperatures, Mrs. Kroeker of Winkler is under the impression that opening a few windows should do the trick. “Air conditioning? Waut de hunt!” exclaimed Mrs. Kroeker. “In my day we didn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”

May 30, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Hildebrandt family drove into the big city of Leamington this weekend to pick up a truck load of items at the local Walmart. Hopes of stopping for Happy Meals were quickly dashed, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Reports First Case of Broeskypox

May 21, 2022 Andrew

SOMMERHIMMELTHAL, MB Health officials are concerned this week after the first case of Broeskypox in more than a decade has been discovered in the region. “There’s no need to be alarmed just yet,” said Dale […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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