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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Forced to Wear Their Parkas Indoors So Dad Can Save on the Hydro Bill

December 5, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Doerksen family of Winkler have been wearing their long underwear a lot this winter, thanks to Mr. Doerksen’s insistence that “no one better touch that darn thermostat!” “They keep raising the hydro […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Desperately Search for Cheap Used Netflix Subscriptions at MCC Store

December 3, 2018 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Mennonites across Canada have been scouring the shelves at their local MCC thrift stores in search of used Netflix subscriptions after the streaming service jacked up the prices this week. “I heard Mrs. […]

Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

August 24, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Rempels from over in Herschel drove into the city this week to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in style by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Tony Roma’s. “Oba, […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Things Mennonites Are Allowed to Waste Money On

June 30, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to spending, Mennonites are a frugal bunch. Despite the fact many Mennonites have done well for themselves economically, they’re not the type to flaunt their wealth. You won’t see a Mennonite driving […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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