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football

The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger to Perform at Grey Cup Half Time Show

November 4, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK With just days left until the Grey Cup, organizers still had yet to announce the half time show. Well, the wait is over as, apparently, Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger will be reading […]

Unger Games

Generous Rider Fans Donate Unwanted Grey Cup Tickets to Local Thrift Store

October 23, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK After being eliminated from playoff contention this week, thousands of Saskatchewan Roughrider fans have been donating their unwanted Grey Cup tickets at local MCC thrift stores. “We’re getting in Grey Cup tickets by […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Issues Memo Against Signing Garrett Marino

September 10, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK After a number of controversial hits that resulted in him being cut from the team, former Saskatchewan Roughriders defensive lineman Garrett Marino will have to look for work elsewhere. Joining the staff of […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbacher Surpasses 10,000 Career Kjnipsing Yards

July 26, 2022 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Argos running back Andrew Harris was not the only Steinbacher to set a record this week. 92-year-old Herman W. Klippenstein became the first kjnipser to kjnips more than 10,000 career yards after defeating Robert […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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