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football

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

Unger Suspicion

Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday

August 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Peter Wiebe’s cousin Kjnels from Swift Current Colony, Mexico will be starting for the Green Bay Packers as they face the Oakland Raiders in an exhibition match in Winnipeg Thursday night. “I can’t […]

Unger Games

CFL Adds New ‘Mennonite Player Ratio’

June 22, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK In an effort to increase the diversity of the league, the Canadian Football League has just announced a new initiative that requires teams to have at least seven Mennonite players on the field […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl

February 4, 2019 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After a dreadful half-time performance by crap-band Maroon 5 at Super Bowl LIII, the National Football League has announced that “from now on, the only entertainment you’re gonna get is a few old […]

Unger Suspicion

Blue Bombers Proudly Hoist ‘Sunday School Attendance’ Trophy

November 18, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a loss to the Calgary Stampeders this afternoon, the Winnipeg Blue Bomber season has come to an end yet again, and yet again this year, the club is excited to have achieved […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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