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football

Unger Games

Local Man Dies of Boredom Watching Soccer

July 2, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Local man Mr. Gingrich, 73, of Kitchener passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday. He was discovered by his daughter Samantha, who found him on the couch with a World Cup match still […]

Unger Games

New Bombers Quarterback Inspired By Patrik Laine’s Mennonite Beard

June 23, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rookie Winnipeg Blue Bombers quarterback Chris Streveler filled in for an injured Matt Nichols on Friday night and led the team to a 56-10 rout over the Montreal Alouettes. As notable as his […]

Unger Games

2018 FIFA Mennonite World Cup Rankings

June 14, 2018 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA FIFA has announced its final rankings just before the 2018 Mennonite World Cup in Russia. Some of these rankings have us a little baffled. Let’s have a look. 1) Russia  – Some have […]

Unger Games

American Hockey Expert Makes His Picks for NHL Playoffs

April 25, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY America’s foremost hockey expert has made his prognostication for the 2018 NHL playoffs. After a meticulous five minute Google search where he learned the entirety of his hockey knowledge, the American analyst […]

Unger Suspicion

Tom Brady Blames Loss on Regulation Size Footballs

February 5, 2018 Andrew

MINNEAPOLIS, MN New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady struggled to explain his team’s loss in Super Bowl LII last night, though after pressure from reporters, confessed he felt he was hampered by having to use […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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