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Unger & Thirst

Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki

September 6, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Art Berg, 31, of Leamington, Ontario has a message for the world: “My mom’s vereniki are the best in the world yet!” The message, which he’s plastered on several billboards in the Leamington […]

Unger Suspicion

Families Ripped Apart After Riders Fan Marries Bombers Fan

August 31, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local Penner and Wiebe gatherings will never be the same after Rider fan Julie Penner, 19, married Bomber fan Timothy Wiebe, 20, in a secret ceremony somewhere in rural Saskatchewan this afternoon. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Grandma Now Has More Subs than PewDiePie after Signing Up All Her Relatives

August 2, 2019 Andrew

CORN, OK After a string of hilarious videos and video game-commentaries, Mrs. Kroeker of the small town of Corn, Oklahoma has now passed PewDiePie for the most popular YouTuber in the world. “What can I […]

Unger & Thirst

Generous Mennonite Family Treats Dad to an Order of Mozza Sticks

June 16, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The generous Weaver family of Waterloo treated their beloved Dad to a delicious order of Applebee’s mozza sticks and marinara sauce this Sunday. “These mozza sticks represent all that you mean to us, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Scrapbooker Documents Literally Every Second of Family’s Life For the Past Two Decades

May 18, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Thiessen, 47, of Saskatoon has been meticulously scrapbooking her family’s life ever since her marriage to Dave at the Mennonite church back in the summer of ’99. “Here’s a page dedicated to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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