Fraser Valley Man Dunks Donut, Sparks Massive Theological Debate


Little did Elmer Friesen know when he dunked his chocolate glazed donut in his coffee at the local Tim Hortons, that this small act would spark a theological feud with neighbouring coffee drinkers.

“I figured I’d just try it out. I usually just pour a little coffee on there if the donut’s plain, but if it’s already got sprinkles on them yet, then I just leave it alone,” said Friesen, who visits Clearbook Tim Hortons every morning at 6:30. “But I saw someone on TV dunk it right in there. I had no idea Mr. Janz and Mr. Stoesz were watching my every move.”

Janz and Stoesz noticed Friesen’s donut dunking and immediately chastised him for his actions.

“What are you a Baptist?” asked Mr. Janz, shaking his head in disgust. “I’ll have to ask the pastor, but I just can’t find any scriptural basis that would defend dunking a donut.”

Friesen admitted it was rare, but said he’d seen some Mennonites do it before. He figured they were MBs.

“And besides,” he said, getting defensive. “Don’t the scriptures say that he ‘came up out of the water’? That would indicate total donut immersion.”

Janz and Stoesz were utterly unimpressed and moved their table so it wouldn’t be touching Friesen’s. They vowed to take this matter to the elders and wondered aloud about Mr. Friesen’s salvation.

“I’m just not sure about him anymore,” said Mr. Stoez. “By the looks of things, soon he might even be dunking Timbits.”

(Photo credit: by Calgary Reviews )

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