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The Daily Bonnet

New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens

May 20, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB After very few new cases in the past week, the Manitoba government has decided to ease the limits on public gatherings. Starting Friday, Manitobans, other than the fertile Klassen family, will be allowed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Person Maximum Puts Mennonite Families in Quite the Predicament

March 28, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB The Pletts have voted and it seems as if Dad is going to have to quarantine himself in the shed out back so as to adhere to the new ten-person guidelines. “We […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Working on Same Jigsaw Puzzle Since 1987

January 6, 2020 Andrew

DIDSBURY, AB The Epp family of Didsbury has been working on the same 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle since the Easter gathering of 1987. “We’ve still got a ways to go,” said Grandma Epp, 93. “Since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Extended Family Gathering Relegated to Well Outside the Christmas Week

January 3, 2020 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Now that all the Krahn cousins have grown up and have children of their own, the Krahn gathering has been relegated to sometime in January at the Pizza Place for “whoever can […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Play Evie’s ‘Come On, Ring Those Bells’ All Day Today

December 23, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Bergmann of Blumenort plans to play Evie’s ‘Come On, Ring Those Bells’ non-stop for the next 48 to 76 hours. “I’ve still got the LP I bought when I was in high […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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