Ten Person Maximum Puts Mennonite Families in Quite the Predicament


The Pletts have voted and it seems as if Dad is going to have to quarantine himself in the shed out back so as to adhere to the new ten-person guidelines.

“We voted Dad off the bungalow,” said little Timmy, aged 6. “I guess it’s alright, since that means I get to watch Paw Patrol whenever I want to.”

The new guidelines barring any gathering of more than ten people has hit Mennonite families particularly hard.

“The Friesens next door have got half the family in the root cellar and the older Schellenberg kids are sleeping in the F-150,” said Mr. Plett. “I hear Pastor Bill has got some of his kids camping out in one of the old baptismal tanks.”

The new laws have Mennonites scambling to build make-shift accommodations in their backyards.

“We’re bringing back the sod huts; you know, the semlin, like at the museum there in Schteinback,” said Mr. Wolgemuth. “It’s 1874 all over again!”

The Sawatzkys of Henderson Highway are really hoping things go back to normal soon.

“It’s really tough for us,” said Mrs. Sawatzky. “We’re okay at the moment, but I’m expecting twins next month and that’ll put us over the top.”

The biggest impact of the new law, however, has been on the exceptionally fertile Thiessen family, who’ve had to split up into three households.

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