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The Daily Bonnet

Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record

August 13, 2017 Andrew

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, UT The Giesbrecht family of Grunthal, Manitoba has just set a new land speed record of more than 715 km/h (444 mph) at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. With Mr. Peter Giesbrecht at […]

Unger & Thirst

Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage

July 2, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB At about 2:00 pm this Sunday, the eating time at the Vogt family picnic at AD Penner Park was thought to be over. The kids had moved on to play on the zip-line, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Siblings Gather for 20 Year Home School Reunion

May 20, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesen siblings of Altona gathered this past week at Mom and Dad’s bungalow to celebrate their 20-year home school reunion. “We’re the graduating class of 1997,” said Dave, who works at the local […]

Unger Suspicion

Local McDonald’s Offering ‘Free Vasectomy With Purchase’

April 5, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Due to overcrowding in the play room, a local McDonald’s has set up a mobile vasectomy clinic in the parking lot as service to the many families that stop by each day. “We’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Anne of Green Gables Adopted by Mennonite Family

April 2, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON After proving to be more than the Cuthberts could handle, beloved red-haired orphan Anne Shirley was reluctantly adopted by a Mennonite family in Aylmer. “We’ve got fourteen or fifteen mouths to feed as it […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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