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election

Unger Suspicion

In Trying Times, Americans Always Put Forward Their Very Brightest and Best

April 8, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In these dark and challenging times the American people have scoured the nation to find the very best two possible candidates to lead the country through this difficult period. “Normally we just pick […]

Quizzes

Which Mennonite MP Should Replace Andrew Scheer as Conservative Leader?

December 15, 2019 Andrew

Nah, oba, well, Mr. Scheer didn’t last very long as leader. Taunte Lina has been talking in the church lobby and has been trying to stir up support to get a Mennonite in there once. […]

Unger Suspicion

Confused Hollywood Star Candice Bergen Shows Up at House of Commons in Ottawa

November 4, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Hollywood actress Candice Bergen was very excited when she heard that she had received 77% of the vote in the Canadian riding of Portage-Lisgar during the recent federal election. “Wow, thanks, folks! I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Sees Surge in ‘West Reserve Alienation’ After Election Results

October 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Residents of the former Mennonite West Reserve (or Jantsied as it’s more commonly known) have become increasingly disenchanted with the state of politics at the present day. This feeling of alienation is so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Cancel Out Each Other’s Vote

October 21, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The Hieberts stopped by at the polls during their lunch break today intent on doubling the power of their votes by casting their ballots for the same candidate. “Normally we discuss this ahead […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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