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driving

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Clings Tightly to Casserole as Husband Drives to Potluck

September 3, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Dierdre F. Banman was seen firmly gripping her casserole on the way to the Kleine Gemeinde potluck this past Sunday. “We meddachschlopped a little too long this afternoon,” explained Banman. “So we […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before

November 27, 2021 Andrew

MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”

November 6, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Wilmer Peters, 68, has been driving around Calgary for decades without ever using his turn signal, which he claims is a violation of his privacy. “I don’t need people looking over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Graduated Licensing Program Adds New ‘Winkler Driver’ Stage Below ‘Learner’

July 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Valley Department of Motor Vehicles has added a new stage to their four stage graduated license called the “Winkler Driver” stage, which is just before Learner stage. “We implemented the graduated […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Through the Entire Bible Just Driving Back and Forth Between Winkler and Morden

April 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Klaas Bergmann, 57, of Plum Coulee has successfully completed his goal of reading through the entire Bible in a year simply by driving back and forth on Highway 14. “I made it through […]

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