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driving

Unger Suspicion

Severe Turbulence on Winnipeg Streets Leaves Dozens Injured

May 27, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Al Wiens, 41, had to warn his children in the backseat to brace themselves as they drove down a residential street on the way to church this weekend. “Turns out, it was pretty […]

The Daily Bonnet

How large does your town have to be before you can start flipping off other drivers? A guide for Mennonites

February 27, 2024 Andrew

According to the official rules, Mennonites should not be proud of anything. Secretly, however, Mennonites pride themselves on many things, including being among the worst drivers in the country. This is largely attributed to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Clings Tightly to Casserole as Husband Drives to Potluck

September 3, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Dierdre F. Banman was seen firmly gripping her casserole on the way to the Kleine Gemeinde potluck this past Sunday. “We meddachschlopped a little too long this afternoon,” explained Banman. “So we […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before

November 27, 2021 Andrew

MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”

November 6, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Wilmer Peters, 68, has been driving around Calgary for decades without ever using his turn signal, which he claims is a violation of his privacy. “I don’t need people looking over […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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