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The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You

August 28, 2017 Andrew

Ladies are always looking to hook up with an eligible Mennonite man. There’s just something about the hands of a man who catches chickens for a living that’s simply irresistible to a lot of gals. […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Seduce a Mennonite Man (A Guide in Pictures)

May 25, 2017 Andrew

After years of research, with countless false starts and failed attempts, the ladies here at the Daily Bonnet have finally perfected the art of seducing a Mennonite man. Here is a step-by-step guide to winning […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Most Effective Mennonite Pick-Up Lines

May 6, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet sent out a team of single people (spinsters, grumpy old men, young people being pressured by their frintschoft to ‘get married already’, etc.) to try out their best pick-up lines. Their effectiveness […]

Unger Conviction

Church Singles Group Disbanded After Three Decades Without Success

April 25, 2017 Andrew

DALMENY, SK When Linda, Dan, Albert, Annie, Susan, and Paul held the inaugural meeting of the West Dalmeny EMB Singles Group back in 1987, all of them had high hopes that their desire for a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couples Vow to Save Meddachschlop for Marriage

April 21, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of dating couples on Mennonite college campuses across Canada have pledged to save meddachschlop for marriage. “I want my future husband to know that I never had meddachschlop with anyone else before […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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