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dating

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couples Vow to Save Meddachschlop for Marriage

April 21, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of dating couples on Mennonite college campuses across Canada have pledged to save meddachschlop for marriage. “I want my future husband to know that I never had meddachschlop with anyone else before […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if a Mennonite is Flirting With You

April 2, 2017 Andrew

As a young Mennonite man I always had trouble figuring out whether Annie or Martha or Bertha was actually interested in me. Just ask my friend Johan. I used to spend hours pestering him with […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spring Means Courting Season for Eligible Mennonites

March 22, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Ahhh, spring, the time of year to haul out the rubber boots and pick rocks out of the field…and possibly attract a suitor in the process. Yes, indeed, spring is courting season for Mennonites. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Disappointed with Russian Mennonite Mail Order Bride

March 11, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB After spending most of his life as a bachelor, 43-year-old Edmonton resident, Jeremy Robertson, decided to purchase a Russian mail order bride with the money he inherited from his Great Uncle Bobby. The bride, however, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Single Uncle Elmer Refuses to Date Women Who Wear Pants

February 11, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Uncle Elmer Jansen, 71, has been single his whole life for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is his absolute refusal to date women who wear pants or “Satan’s slacks” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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