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dancing

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Recalls Traumatic ‘Near-Dance Experience’

November 29, 2016 Andrew

DALMENY, SK Area woman and budding writer Bertha Froese has published a new memoir entitled ‘Dancing is For Real’ which recounts her horrific near-dance experience in the summer of 2012. “There I was at my […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Dance Lessons’ Creates Profound Existential Crisis in Mennonite Town

October 5, 2016 Andrew

SOMMERFELD, PARAGUAY Residents of a small Mennonite town were sent into deep existential angst on Wednesday when a sign went up in town offering ‘Free Dance Lessons.’ “As a Mennonite I’m obligated to take anything […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lobby Group Promotes “Abstinence Only” Dance Education

August 18, 2016 Andrew

KALONA, IA A concerned group of Iowa Mennonites has met with the director of the Department of Education to request the inclusion of abstinence-only dance education in the state curriculum. “Total abstinence from dancing is the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sloth Emerges Victorious in Mennonite Dance Competition

June 20, 2016 Andrew

ASUNCION, PARAGUAY The competition was fierce at the International Mennonite Dance-Off in Asuncion, Paraguay this past week. While Arturo Penner was able to hold his own through four rounds of competition, in the end it […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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