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crime

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Dime Bags of White Sugar

December 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona’s most notorious sugar dealer, 83-year-old Edith Braun, has been caught dealing “dime bags” of white sugar in the hallways of Southview Manor. “The street price of white sugar has soared this holiday […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Man Crashes into Giant Tiger

December 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Wildlife specialists were called to downtown Steinbach this week after area man Michael Teichrob, 21, crashed right into a giant tiger on Main Street. “Gosh, I’ve heard of accidents with moose and elk, […]

Unger the Influence

Nobel Peace Prize to Be Renamed ‘Henry Kissinger Memorial Award’

November 30, 2023 Andrew

OSLO, NORWAY After the passing of everyone’s favourite war criminal this week, the Nobel committee in Oslo has decided to solidify the mistake they made in 1973 by renaming the Nobel Peace Prize as the […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Police Seize Mennonite Woman’s Basket of Chanterelles

May 21, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to crack down on mushrooms in the city, local police raided a North Kildonan home this week and seized Mrs. Driedger’s basket of wild chanterelles. “Oba, Harry and I had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pick-Up-and-Walk Crew Followed Closely By Toss-Your-Cigarette-Butts-Out-the-Window Crew

May 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year, the community of Steinbach gathers together on a Saturday to pick up garbage and beautify the city. It’s called ‘Pick up and Walk’ and is quickly followed by an even more […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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