Nobel Peace Prize to Be Renamed ‘Henry Kissinger Memorial Award’


After the passing of everyone’s favourite war criminal this week, the Nobel committee in Oslo has decided to solidify the mistake they made in 1973 by renaming the Nobel Peace Prize as the ‘Henry Kissinger Memorial Award.’

“We can think of no better beacon of peace in the 20th century than Henry Kissinger,” said Nobel spokesperson Magnus Magnuson. “I mean when you think of peace, justice, and goodwill, what other name comes to mind?”

The decision to change the name was a big one, but after considerable discussion the committee decided it was time for a change.

“We decided it was better to have the prize named after a man directly responsible for the deaths of millions,” said Mangusson, “than a man who just invented dynamite.”

The criteria for the prize has not changed, however. The new Henry Kissinger Memorial Award will still be given annually to the person has has “done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace.”

“And who embodies those values better than Henry Kissinger?” said Magnusson. “Ah, I must say, this truly warms the cockles of my heart.”

Future award winners will be expected to follow the “way of peace” that Mr. Kissinger was famous for.

(photo credit: Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy University of Michigan/CC)

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