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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Having Real Difficulty Solving this Maze

October 18, 2021 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local man Peter Hildebrandt, 61, was one of, like, fifteen Ontarians who managed to successfully obtain their QR codes today, but spent the better part of the afternoon trying to solve the darn […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple ‘Devastated’ after Narrowly Missing Registration Deadline for Church this Sunday

April 24, 2021 Andrew

YARROW, BC Pamela and Thomas Bueckert of Yarrow, BC put off registering for church on this lovely Sunday morning just long enough that all the spots were taken and they had to spend their morning […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Shocked to Discover that his “aM a zon ackount has bin sispendead”

November 22, 2020 Andrew

SHERWOOD PARK, AB Local man Ed Klassen, 69, of Sherwood Park, Alberta was absolutely flummoxed to discover that his “aM a zon” account had been disabled and desperately needed to be fixed “by logging in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Typo Leads to Confusion at Local Store

November 19, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Customers entering Dueck Sausage Emporium in Swift Current this week were greeted with a friendly message to “satanize” their hands before entry. “Diewel, I knew things were bad, but this is getting […]

Unger Suspicion

Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page

October 29, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new study out of the University of Chilliwack has attributed the entirety of Canada’s economic downturn to the fact that Canadians are spending all every day refreshing their Covid test result screens. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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