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coke

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Orders Child Size Coke and Stays All Afternoon for Refills

August 6, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man and financial advisor Mr. Kornelsen decided he’d get the biggest bang for his buck if he ordered a kid’s size Coke and down refill after refill all afternoon at his local […]

Unger & Thirst

New “I’d Like to Buy the World a Papsi” Ad Targets Mennonites

June 23, 2020 Andrew

HARRISON, NY Papsi sales have gone through the roof this week after the airing of a brand new ad featuring Mennonites from across the globe standing on a hill-top singing “I’d like to buy the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke

December 30, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, AB After a routine traffic stop in the small village of Blumenort, Alberta, local man Mr. Wiens has been found to have Coke in his system. Wiens faces several charges including driving under the […]

Unger & Thirst

Coca-Cola Adds Mennonite Names to Bottles

June 8, 2017 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA According to tradition, the preferred cola of Mennonites has always been Pepsi (accompanied by a Ravel bar). In an effort to win over some of the Mennonite market share, Coca-Cola has recently introduced a series […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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