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The Daily Bonnet

Study Links All Friesens to One Guy A Long Time Ago in Henderson, Nebraska

February 12, 2019 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE A new study out of University of Eastern Nebraska has traced all current Friesens to one Nebraska farmer sometime in the 1870s. “Jakob F. Friesen was his name – the first Friesen ever,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Nintendo Releases New Game for Mennonite Children

December 19, 2018 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK Video game giant Nintendo has just released a new 8-bit game called Super Martens Bros. with the intent of capturing the last demographic they did not yet have: Mennonites. “Super Martens Bros. is […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen

December 6, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mom and Dad had some explaining to do after the Dueck children found them in a state of disrobe and completely covered in flour when they were dropped off at home by grandma. […]

Unger Suspicion

Court Rules 69-Year-Old Dutch Man is Actually a ‘Whiny Little Toddler’

December 4, 2018 Andrew

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS A Dutch court has ruled today that local senior Milan Ratelbrand, 69, is actually legally “one-and-half years old, or two at best.” Ratelbrand had sued the government to have his age lowered by […]

Unger Conviction

Sunday School Teacher Becomes Stuck to Flannelgraph Board

October 30, 2018 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Parademics had to be called to the local Kleine Gemeinde church this past week after grade 2 Sunday School teacher Annie Friesen, 76, became stuck to the flannelgraph board. “We get flannelgraph-related calls […]

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