Nintendo Releases New Game for Mennonite Children


Video game giant Nintendo has just released a new 8-bit game called Super Martens Bros. with the intent of capturing the last demographic they did not yet have: Mennonites.

“Super Martens Bros. is an exciting new game featuring Corny and Abe Martens, two trajchtmoakas from Jantsied who are trying to rescue Princess Aganetha,” said a Nintendo spokesperson. “Let me tell you, you’ve never seen a game quite like this!”

Video game experts IGN have already given the game a 8.5/10 saying that “it’s even better than the original!”

“I think this is the game that will finally get Mennonites to abandon their traditional prohibition against electronic devices and finally give video games a whirl,” said IGN. “Super Martens Bros. is a game for the whole family!”

The new game comes prepackaged in a new Nintendo system along with the classic Duck Hunt, although this time the gun is not provided.

“Mennonites don’t use guns,” said IGN. “So, this time they’ll be expected to take down the ducks with prayer and supplication.”

Early reports indicate that Mennonite father have been snatching up the new systems just to feed their Tetris addictions.

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