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Unger & Thirst

Stick Holding Debit Machine at Drivethru Falls Just Short of Actually Reaching Car

April 1, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The long rod that holds the debit machine was not quite long enough to reach Mrs. Plett’s car this afternoon, forcing the frustrated fast food lover to pull over and come inside to […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Gets Out of Parking Ticket By Claiming He Was “Protesting”

February 10, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Harold Dyck has just been granted a full pardon and solemn apology from the Premier after mistakenly been given a parking ticket when he was clearly “out there protesting injustice or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Puts on His Winter Tires

November 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Kliewer of Leamington is always the last one in town to put on his winter tires, usually waiting until there’s at least three feet of snow at minimum. “Mennonites don’t need any […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops

August 16, 2021 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. Earl Fehr of Regina loaded up the minivan and took the family on a six-hour long drive through the countryside to look at some fields this weekend. “Hey, look, kids! Bales!” yelled […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rainy Day Equals Free Car Wash for Mennonite Man

March 25, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK As soon as the skies started to get dark this afternoon, Peter Bueckert, 41, of Rosthern was quick to get his ’92 Ford Escort outside into the rain. “Free car wash!” yelled Bueckert […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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