The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

business

Unger & Thirst

Leamington Man Arrested for Possession of Heinz Ketchup

May 9, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Days after a new law came into effect barring the use of Heinz Ketchup, the Leamington police have made their first arrest for possession of something other than French’s. “A middle-aged male was taken into […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Earns $400,000 for Wall Street Sermon

May 4, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Retired Mennonite pastor Dave Froese of Alt-Bergfeld EMB just raked in more than $400,000 for an hour-long sermon on Ephesians 6 he gave at a meeting of Wall Street bankers. However, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Loewen Windows Employee to Marry Barkman Concrete Employee

April 10, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For the first time in Steinbach history, employees of two of the town’s most storied and successful companies have found love in each other’s arms. “There was a time when you’d have never […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mysterious Steinbach Mineral Claims Finally Revealed

February 28, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than a year, a secretive Alberta company has been buying up the mineral rights for a massive area surrounding the city of Steinbach. The precise nature of the mineral rights purchase has been kept under […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Pickers’ Find Treasure Trove at Local Dump

February 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The local dump, or nuisance grounds as it’s commonly called by Mennonites, has provided quite the bounty of stupid crap for local pickers Arnold Loewen and Edna Dueck. “They don’t really like us […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 12 13 14 … 16 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonites Looking Forward to Those New Smoked Cheese Curds
    June 6, 2024
  • Joe Biden to be Replaced with Napping Mennonite Man
    December 7, 2021
  • Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor
    July 17, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Accused of Flipping Off the Pastor
    November 9, 2023
  • Thousands of Nerds Line-up at Comic-Con to Meet Normal Mennonite Mom
    November 3, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved