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bible

Unger Suspicion

Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible

September 30, 2021 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN HarperCollins-owned “Christian” publisher Zondervan has recently released a totally awesome new Bible that skips all the boring parts and just includes the stuff that people actually read today. “People don’t have time […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger Conviction

Breaking! Pastor Dan’s Been Getting All His Insights from the Footnotes in His ‘Ryrie Study Bible’

April 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Drone footage hovering above the pulpit this week has revealed that Pastor Dan’s been getting all this spiritual insights from the footnotes in his Ryrie Study Bible. “I feel we’ve been duped. From […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Through the Entire Bible Just Driving Back and Forth Between Winkler and Morden

April 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Klaas Bergmann, 57, of Plum Coulee has successfully completed his goal of reading through the entire Bible in a year simply by driving back and forth on Highway 14. “I made it through […]

Quizzes

Quiz Time! Is it a Bible Verse or Just a Random Inspirational Quote from a Meme?

March 30, 2021 Andrew

In these troubled times, it seems the only thing that can keep us going is spending all day scrolling past the word “Blessed!” in big bold letters above a picture of a sunset or country […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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