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Unger & Thirst

Biblical Literalist Accidentally Eats Shellfish

August 5, 2022 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man James Dyck, who normally prides himself in his undying commitment to his own inerrant interpretation of Scripture, found himself in quite the pickle this afternoon at the local Red Lobster. “It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Sexy Overalls Declared “Stumbling Block”

July 11, 2022 Andrew

TABER, AB Starting this week, Mennonite men throughout Alberta have been asked to refrain from sporting shit-covered overalls and rubber boots as they’re seen to be a “stumbling block” for single women in the area. […]

Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

Unger Conviction

Meet the ‘Steinbach Reads’ 2022 Contenders: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

April 25, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s an annual tradition in Steinbach. Every year enthusiastic local readers defend a choice of book and the final book is required reading for the entire community. This year, the panel will be […]

The Daily Bonnet

Read Through ‘The Best of the Bonnet’ in One Year: A Guide

December 9, 2021 Andrew

As Mennonites we love a good reading plan, especially one that provides guidance on how to read entire books in just one year. So, with the release of the long-awaited Daily Bonnet collection, many folks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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